Get Your Guns!: There Are Things Up In Those Hills

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Get Your Guns!: There Are Things Up In Those Hills

There are some crazy creatures crawling on the cabins in the woods of America. Scents and noises only animals can hear and smell are going to do nothing to protect you, the only thing going to save you is the invention protecting America for centuries: Guns! (With proper safety training. After all it would suck to shoot your wife instead of the werewolf trying to devour your wife)

What is a good gun for hunting the paranormal? That depends on what you are hunting. Let's look at the top three monsters an American is likely to encounter randomly:

1. Zombie

This is an easy target that does not require much fire power. Just grab any gun of almost any caliber, aim for the head, and get the job done.

With zombies, the bigger the gun and bullet, the bigger the show! Want the head to explode, but have a certain style about you at the same time? Use the gun from Dirty Harry. The sky is the limit for your dreams and killing zombies. Have some fun with these monsters.

2.Vampire

This one is just a bit trickier. It is the bullet that makes the difference with this beast. You need wood, and you need to put your wood in the barrel of the gun.

Now this is against every gun owner's manual but to stop a vampire with ease you first need to jam a wooden stake into the barrel of a gun.

Just use a hammer and drive that piece of wood into your gun. You will get splinters! Now you may ask how is it going to fire? The bullet, duh! When the Bullet fires it will push the wooden stake out at super-sonic speeds into the blood sucker in front of you. Bingo Bango, dead blood sucker-o.

3. Werewolf

Get the biggest gun you can, in our studio it is a blunderbuss, and stuff that gun with everything you can find. The whole "You need silver to kill a werewolf" gypsy nonsense, is hogwash. Werewolf die just like you or me, only they are built like human-wolf tanks with claws so you need some extra power and carnage to get the job done.

Anything less then a blunderbuss and you are just making the creature mad. A shotgun with high velocity slugs will also do the trick, but nothing less or your are asking to be the meal for an angry father and his werewolf family.

Good hunting out there.