Top 5 Lizard people of the Week, 2/27/13

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#5 Bill O'Reilly

Bill O'Reilly, political.... journalist... no, that's not it....pundit... closer.... lizard person attempting to sway people into the reptilian agenda... Yes! It explains why no one is as perfect in his eyes as him; no human could equal a lizard man to Bill O'Reilly

#4 Joseph Gordon Levitt

Another fantastic actor. No matter what he is in, Joseph Gordon Levitt is often the best part of the movie. The reason? He is a lizard person who acts like a human so well that film makers cast him above real humans. This goes to show you, follow your dreams, even a lizard person can be a great human actor.

#3 Chelsea Handler

Her skin is to tight for her lizard bone structure.  This is her trying to be comfortable at the MTV music video awards. Ms. Handler is the one lizard person we feel bad for. She has to be in so much pain smashed into that way to small human suit.


#2 Mickey Rooney

Mickey Rooney. Your grandparents remember him from The Private Lives of Adam and Eve, The Twilight Zone, A family Affair, and the Human-Reptilian Wars during the mid-1930s.

#1 Pauly Shore

After almost taking over the world in the 90s, the lizard people's greatest warrior of culture is making a comeback and raising his profile to a new stardom. Why? Why not just lay low with all the money he made in his first golden age? Because a lizard man has to eat, and human flesh is expensive. Way more expensive then organic foods.